Devotion 3: Making Room for Lament
Tommy Speirs
Christians above all people ought to be people who rejoice. But what do you do when sorrow knocks on your door? When joy and laughter are drowned in tears? Is it ok to be sad? As Christians, do we have permission to mourn?
Not everyone is familiar with the word ‘lament’, but, throughout history and throughout the world, people know lament. Lament is the universal, natural response to suffering. It is the weeping, groaning, and sometimes chest-beating reflex to pain, anguish and sorrow.
Anyone can lament, because anyone can suffer. The child with bruised knees and skinned elbows can lament. The neighbor who lives with chronic pain or incurable physical weakness can lament. The patient who hears “terminal” can lament. The widow who aches for her best friend can lament. Lament is a natural response to suffering. But can Christians lament? Or are we called to never be sad? The short answer is yes, Christians can lament. In fact Christians should be the best lamenters. We should be the experts, because although anyone can lament, not everyone can lament biblically. Biblical lament is a supernatural response that only Christians are enabled, indeed, encouraged to do. So what is biblical lament?
Biblical lament is tethered to God’s glory
Tucked away in the request “Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven” are twin convictions that this world belongs to God, and not all is right in His world (Mt. 6:10; see Ps. 24:1). The fact is, this world belongs to God, and everything in it ought to reflect his glory (Rev 4:11). Since that is not the case, we not only pray, but we also lament. Grieving that God’s will is still unfulfilled on the earth is biblical and Christian lament. Otherwise, we merely complain and grumble, which Paul commands against (Phil. 2:14). Without a God-sized, biblical perspective, our “lament” is mere idolatry, because our desires were not satisfied, and thus we are creating our own definition of right and wrong. God alone has the right to determine what is right or wrong in his world.
From this perspective, however, Christians are encouraged to lament the cause and effects of the curse. We can lament sorrow, pain, injustice, and especially sin and death. We can even lament thorns and venom. We can lament anything that does not fit in God’s new heaven and new earth when and where all things are finally made right. "But based on his promise, we wait for new heavens and a new earth, where righteousness dwells." (2 Pet. 3:13). So Christians grieve, of course, but not without hope (1 Thess. 4:13).
Biblical Lament is honest about sin and its Effects
Jesus wept when Lazarus died. He saw sin, unbelief, and Satan at their worst, and it grieved him. David lamented his sin of adultery and murder because he certainly witnessed the affect it had on his relationship with God, on others, including losing the life of his own son, on his family, on his kingship, and on his nation (Ps. 51; 2 Sam 12:11-12) When we are most honest about sin and its affects, we are most near biblical lament. Death stings. Sin hurts. We must not make light of evil that is directly opposed to God. We often inadvertently teach our children that a broken world is just how it is. When they truly hurt, we too quickly put a worldly bandaid on with the words, “Well, son, that’s just life!” But in reality, the effects of sin are not life, but just the opposite! They are a cursed result of sin, leading utimately to death. So, let’s not become so acclimated to evils that we fail to lament the very things God has promised to destroy.
Until then, we must develop the heart that loves the things God loves and hate the things he hates. Jesus’ joy in heaven will surpass all others’ because his love for righteousness and his hatred of wickedness surpasses all others — just like his Father (Ps. 45:7). So be honest about sin. Be honest about your sin. Lament its wickedness, its reach, its frequency, and its persistence. Then lament how sin disrupts God’s good world and darkens the view of his glory. Look to the Son of Man lifted high on that cross. This is the cost of sin. This is the cost of redemption. My redemption! So, lament sin and its affects. Then our prayers will begin to be truly righteous and effective (Jam. 5:16).
Biblical lament is breathed to God in prayer
The prayer book of the Israelites, or more specifically her king, was peppered with prayers of lament. Lament was one of many ways David and other psalmists expressed love and faith toward God. As long as sorrow is sustained, lament should be a part of our prayers to God. Our hope for an unblemished world comes from him, so he alone can fulfill that hope. He alone can sustain us as we wait patiently for it. Of course, we can lament along with our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, and rightly so. But take care that God is the first, last, and most frequent audience to your cries. He alone can bear the weight. He alone is a man of sorrows and acquainted with griefs (Isa. 53:3). He alone truly sees you (Ps. 139). He alone records all your wanderings and stores every tear (Ps. 56:8). His throne is a throne of mercy. Christ himself IS the mercy seat, and he is always eager to give timely help to those in need (Rom 3:25; Heb. 4:16). Anne Steele knew no better retreat in times of sorrow than approaching God in prayer:
Dear refuge of my weary soul
On Thee when sorrows rise
On Thee when waves of trouble roll
My fainting hope relies
To Thee I tell each rising grief
For Thou alone canst heal
Thy Word can bring a sweet relief
For every pain I feel
But oh when gloomy doubts prevail
I fear to call Thee mine
The springs of comfort seem to fail
And all my hopes decline
Yet gracious God where shall I flee
Thou art my only trust
And still my soul would cleave to Thee
Though prostrate in the dust
Hast Thou not bid me seek Thy face
And shall I seek in vain
And can the ear of sov'reign grace
Be deaf when I complain
No still the ear of sov'reign grace
Attends the mourner's prayer
O may I ever find access
To breathe my sorrows there
Thy mercy seat is open still
Here let my soul retreat
With humble hope attend Thy will
And wait beneath Thy feet[1]
Biblical lament trusts in God’s unending love
One day God’s people will say we’ve passed through the night of sorrow and death to the day of joy and life[2]. Then sorrow will be as silent as death will be dead. But until that day— until the majestic brightness of our beautiful Savior’s face comes to flood the night with eternal light, sorrows will sound, and lament will be one appropriate response of God’s people. At various seasons, either frequent or few, for some passing and others persistent, sorrow will be the unwanted knock at our door and the uninvited guest at our table. Therefore, we must quickly and regularly bring our complaints to God in prayer. We must remember that he ordains every working under heaven for his perfect purposes. All things are his servants. Every tear will bring him glory. William Cowper reminds us, “behind a frowning providence, [God] hides a smiling face”.[3] Though for a brief moment his face is hidden from view, one day beholding his beauty will be our unceasing and undiminished delight. So lament what is not right for now, but trust in God’s unending love. In reality, sorrow is only a temporary guest.
A few considerations for prayer:
Pray that God would cause us to love righteousness and hate wickedness in all forms (Ps 45:7).
Pray that we would not be afraid to pour out our complaints to God (Ps 102 - see scritural psalm title; Hab 2:1).
Pray for endurance in suffering as we wait for Christ’s return (Rom 12:12; Heb 12).
Pray that all God’s good plans for us and His world in Christ would be fulfilled without delay (Rev 22:20)