Dealing with "Evil-Speaking"
Josh Pool
One of the small yet great, common yet deadly, immature but sinful, tendencies in many-a-Christian’s heart and habit (including mine) is to tolerate those conversations where a man’s character is attacked by another. We know it as slander or gossip. Charles Simeon[1] called it evil-speaking.
In a letter he wrote in July 1817, Simeon provides (1) resolutions for dealing with evil-speaking; and, (2) a brilliant diagnosis of why our hearts entertain it.[2] Take a moment to read:
The longer I live, the more I feel the importance of adhering to the rules which I have laid down for myself in relation to such matters.
To hear as little as possible what is to the prejudice of others.
To believe nothing of the kind till I am absolutely forced to it.
Never to drink of the spirit of one who circulates an ill report.
Always to moderate, as far as I can, the unkindness which is expressed toward others.
Always to believe, that if the other side were heard, a very different account would be given of the matter.
I consider love as wealth; and as I would resist a man who should come to rob my house, so would I [resist] a man who would weaken my regard for any human being. I consider, too, that persons are cast into different [molds]; and that to ask myself, what should I do in that person’s situation, is not a just mode of judging. I must not expect a man that is naturally cold and reserved to act as one that is naturally warm and affectionate; and I think it is a great evil that people do not make more allowances for each other in this particular. I think religious people are too little attentive to these considerations; and that it is not in reference to the ungodly world only that that passage is true, ‘He that departeth from evil maketh himself a prey’; but even in references to [believers] also, amongst whom there is a sad proneness to listen to evil reports, and to believe the representations they hear, without giving the injured persons any opportunity of rectifying their views and of defending his own character.
The more prominent any person’s character is, the more likely he is to suffer in this way; there being in the heart of every man, unless greatly subdued by grace, a pleasure in hearing anything which may sink others to his level, or lower them in the estimation of the world. We seem to ourselves elevated in proportion as others are depressed.
Under such circumstances I derive consolation from the following reflections:
My enemy, whatever evil he says of me, does not reduce me so low as he would if he knew all concerning me that God knows.
In drawing the balance, as between Debtor and Creator, I find that if I have been robbed of pence, there are pounds and talents placed to my account to which I have no just title.
If man has his day, God will have his. See 1 Cor 4:3.
So then, coming away from Simeon’s letter, 3 reminders:
Have a zero tolerance policy for any conversations that speak evil of another. When the conversation heads in that direction, have the courage and urgency to stop it before it starts. This does not mean we do not address sin; rather, it means we refuse to entertain conversations where another man’s character is unnecessarily or unfairly attacked. Have nothing to do with it. Do not partner with darkness.
Discern and fight against why we entertain—even enjoy—these conversations. Simeon’s explanation: because our hearts enjoy when others are humbled. Our hearts are attracted to conversations that will lower a man’s reputation in the eyes of others. Our hearts will do anything to promote our own fame before others. That is a breathtaking analysis. A humbling one too. If I find myself attracted to another man’s downfall, woe unto me.
When you are slandered, take heart, for you are more evil than your enemy portrays you.
Let us pursue holiness of speech, and a regard for one another, especially those who belong to the household of faith.